TITLES I - J - K

I’d Love To But I Have A Game
27 Years Without A Life
Marv Albert with Rick Reilly
Biography
Non-Fiction
Rating 5
Bantam Doubleday Dell
1993

Legendary sports broadcaster Marv Albert has written a rollicking and hilarious book about his life in and around sports. He began doing his own play-by-play to radio games, and hanging around ballparks doing odd jobs. At 19, he was hired by a Triple A baseball team as announcer and never looked back. He went on to become one of the busiest sports personalities anywhere, doing baseball, basketball and hockey games for NBC, as well as network news, plus play-by-play for the Knicks and Rangers, and other miscellaneous sports such as boxing, golf or drag racing. He crams this lively and punchy book full of uproarious anecdotes, bloopers and laugh-out-loud zingers. (My favorite is Morgan Fairchild introducing him as “Merv” Albert.) This book grabs you at the cover and drags you happily along, alternately laughing and groaning, until the end of the last chapter and leaves you begging for more. A wildly entertaining and unforgettable book.

If Ever I Return, Pretty Peggy-O
Sharyn McCrumb
Mystery
Fiction
Rating 1
Ballantine Books / Random House
1990


This author is famous for her mysteries featuring Elizabeth MacPherson, but this is from a different collection of stories set in the Appalachian hills and knows as The Ballad Series. These books are part of the author’s stated mission to “set the record straight” about the proud and misunderstood Appalachian people. This story is set in tiny Hamelin, Tennessee, which is set on its ear when faded folk singer Peggy Muryan buys a house in town with the intention of launching a comeback. She calls on Sheriff Spencer Arrowood when she receives what she considers a threatening postcard using a reference from a very old and obscure folk song called “Little Margaret.” Spence tries to reassure her that she’s not in any danger, but the next day someone has killed her dog commando-style. The deputy, Joe Ledonne, suspects there may be a crazy Vietnam vet lurking in the area (we already know there is at least one skulking between the chapters of the book) since he is familiar with the symbolism. When a high school student is reported missing, her resemblance to Peggy Muryan raises even more troubling questions. Spence’s preliminary investigation turns up nothing, but then Peggy gets another postcard with more lyrics from another old folk song about a young blond girl who was killed and thrown in a river. Meanwhile, in a nearby town, the have a dead body turn up in their river. Finally, Peggy figures she’d better tell Spence about Travis Perdue, who was from the local area, and they met in college. Originally they started singing as a duo, but when the record company came calling, they only wanted Peggy. They broke up and Travis went to Vietnam, from where he wrote her bitter and obtuse letters – these appear sporadically between chapters. Finally she received word that he was missing and presumed dead, which she believed for 20 years, until now when all of these happenings seem to be indicating otherwise. With the murder, the State authorities get involved, instead to the local officers, and they begin investigating all the Vietnam veterans in the area, plus any deranged people, and the supposedly dead Travis Perdue. Before they can make any headway, the killer turns up in Peggy’s house, catching her by surprise and cutting her telephone line. Luckily, Peggy has a gun and disarms her assailant, who turns out to be a local youngster name Pix-Kyle Weaver with a Vietnam fascination. He had found some of Peggy’s mementos from Travis at a rummage sale and decided to play-act at being Travis 20 years later, coming back to even the score. Peggy is so incensed at his immature arrogance and nonchalance about the killings, plus her outraged feeling that his youth would protect him from the full penalty of the law, that she shoots him in cold blood. This doesn’t sit well with Spence, but he drops it, and her also since they had been dating casually, and washes his hands of the whole business. This is a horrible book, and especially disappointing because her other series of mysteries is so lovable and jaunty that you just can’t get enough of them. The story is a Gothic horror, reeking of menace and nihilism. It utterly fails in its attempts to blend the trivial (a 20th high school reunion) with the looming terror of a psychopath on the loose. This is a good writer whose books are uniformly well-written and lively, but in this book, the psychotic overtones completely overwhelm the writing style. The characters are bland, uninteresting or unlikable, and the plot lurches along episodically from dull to terrifying. And for a book whose mission is to portray the proud and misunderstood Appalachian people in a positive light, this story of demented veterans, serial killers and local rubes in an eerie landscape of poverty and backwardness is scarcely the homage they might be looking for. Hard to read, disquieting and a relief to finish, a real disappointment from start to finish.


Illinois!
Dana Fuller Ross
Drama
Fiction
Rating 4
Book Creations
1986



This is apparently one in a series of “Wagons West” historical dramas set on the American frontier. Some of the characters came in from other books, and some of them obviously go on to other books as well. Here, Toby Holt goes to Chicago just in time for the famous fire in 1871. Like all epics, the cast of characters is sprawling, and the action, melodramatic. But it’s well-written and interesting, and pulls the reader along with it.


I’m Not Really Here
Tim Allen
Philosophy
Non-Fiction
Rating 2
Boxing Cat Productions
1996



Stand-up comic and actor Tim Allen is the star of the hit TV series “Home Improvement.” His first book, “Don’t Stand Too Close to a Naked Man,” was autobiographical, and described his early life before his success on TV and in movies. However, this one is a really strange book, dealing with quantum physics and the nature of reality. It’s too weird and depressing to be really funny, although it has moments of strained humor. It has the kind of pitiful, whining angst common to Yuppies reaching their mid-life crisis. It finally descends totally into psycho-babble, without ever getting anywhere. Demoralizing, disjoined, depressing and very disappointing compared to his first book.


In Gallant Company
Alexander Kent
Historical Drama
Fiction
Rating 3
McBooks Press, Inc.
1998
(1977 - Hutchinson, UK)



This is another in a series of fictionalized naval histories, and featuring our hero, Richard Bolitho, who is now a Fourth Lieutenant on a massive gunboat called Trojan. Under the command of Captain Pears, it has a crew of 600, and in 1777, is part of the naval blockade at New York trying to quell the uprising of the colonies. When their orders send them up north to protect a convoy of munitions from falling into enemy hands, they find themselves being followed by a privateer out of Boston. They decided to attack their shadow under cover of fog, rather than leading the pirates to the convoy. This works better than anyone expects, and they end up with a prize ship, a fast schooner, that soon comes in very handy in concert with the lumbering gunboat. When Capt. Pears discovers that the prize ship was expected at a rendezvous in Delaware Bay, he sends Bolitho with the prize to keep the rendezvous and hopefully capture the other vessel using the element of surprise. But Lt. Sparke in charge of the mission fails to inspire confidence in Bolitho, on top of all the other dangers they face from bad weather and their own warships. They do manage to make the rendezvous, and even capture one ship and destroy another. But getting wind of yet another prize laid up and ripe for the taking, they walk straight into a trap that decimates their company, including Lt. Sparke. This made Bolitho suddenly the new Third Lieutenant, which should have been a happy occasion. But the war was not going well in general, and the loss of manpower would be hard to replace. He is sent ashore in New York to round up any replacements he could find or capture. While there, he stumbles into a fracas in a brothel, where a youngster is killed, who turns out to be a colonial spy who is not only a woman, but the daughter of a high-ranking English official. This causes a predictable fuss, and Trojan joins a small convoy going to South Carolina to attack a munitions stockpile there. The structure is well-defended from the sea, so they hatch a plan to land troops up the coast under cover of darkness, and then continue sailing past in plain sight, while the troops attack from the inland side instead. This works better than anyone expects, even trapping a French privateer that arrives with more supplies. Another officer sails away with that ship, leaving Bolitho and the others to fight off the fort’s colonial troops, who return unexpectedly before the rescue ship can remove the sailors. They manage to blow up the fort and munitions in front of the rebels, and just make it to the rescue ships with the prisoners and wounded. But the casualties are appalling, and when they return to the convoy, Bolitho finds himself suddenly promoted from 4th to 2nd Lieutenant. The wounded and prisoners were sent back to New York with dispatches, but Trojan continues south on another mission to destroy an important colonial supply site. Unfortunately, a French warship shows up that disables their companion sloop, and then turns on Trojan with such savagery that the toll in men and damages is almost inconceivable. The daring Admiral who came up with these schemes decides to scoot away to safer waters, and asks Bolitho to join him with promises of promotions. But Bolitho realizes the attempt to make his own Captain Pears a scapegoat for the misguided escapades, and he politely refuses. Afer putting into Antigua for repairs, they hear the unbelievable news of Burgoyne’s surrender at Saratoga, and all ships that can move are sent back to New York. The Trojan is sent instead to Jamaica with Marines to put down the slave uprisings on the plantations, which puts everyone’s noses out of joint. On the way, they decide to chase a privateer carrying munitions, but find themselves walking into another trap. Fortunately, they sink the munitions ship and capture the other as a prize, and while Trojan continues with her mission, Capt. Pears detaches Bolitho to return to Antigua on the captured ship, White Hills. Unfortunately, they discover too late that White Hills was part of a rendezvous, and when they meet up with the other ship, there’s a terrible fight. All that saves them is the British sailors being held prisoner on the other ship, who turn the tide in the deck fighting and win the day for the Brits, giving them two prize ships instead of one. Even the hapless Junior Lieutenant Quinn, who was being sent back in disgrace to his family in London for cowardice, redeems himself by giving his life to save another officer. The story ends right there with no epilogue. These books are always interesting and well-written, with characters that are genuine and plainly drawn with warts and all. The stories never lag and are entertaining throughout, although this is no light-hearted rose-colored naval romp by any means. On the contrary, the stories are dead earnest and no one seems to be having any fun, from the top all the way to the very bottom. Unlike the other books in this series, where you can count on the British Navy to come out on top, we already know what happens in the American Revolution, which casts a sort of bittersweet pall over this whole escapade. It would have been more interesting if the characters in the story had any real involvement with the actual Revolution, instead of being an off-shore observer going everywhere except where the action was. But that’s a small quibble and this is another fine entry in this series which is consistently good and satisfying.


Inside, Outside
Herman Wouk
Drama
Fiction
Rating 3
Little, Brown & Company
1985


This is a semi-autobiographical work from an author perhaps better known for his sweeping historical sagas and military adventures. The narrator is David Goodkind, working at a sort of nebulous job in the beleaguered Nixon administration, and in his spare time, jotting down his family reminiscences. He begins with his grandparents and parents in Jewish Minsk and how they came to America. Although his parents were from the same small town in Russia, they never met until they were introduced in New York’s Lower East Side. His father worked with other emigres in the laundry business, eventually starting his own company with two partners. His mother was a great beauty from a good family and had many suitors, but his father prevailed, saved his money and they married. Young David was the apple of their eye, much to the chagrin of older sister Lee, still grumbling to this day. Where they lived in the south Bronx was so Jewish that the children didn’t know there was anything else, until the older boys started filling their heads with terrifying tales of the dreaded “Krishts” who hated Jews. Even the public school was all Jewish, except the teachers, so they were never exposed to anti-Semitism until they wandered out of their own neighborhood. His father’s business was successful enough that he could bring other relatives over from Russia, including his brothers and mother. As much as he tried to get them up and on their own feet, they continued to be a drain on him, especially the mother, who moved in with them. This led to friction between wife and mother-in-law, culminating in the infamous sauerkraut episode. As they did better financially, they moved to a better neighborhood and the children went to summer camp, some of which weren’t even Jewish. We are regaled with the usual tales from camp, and no less entertaining for that. Then it’s off to prep school and we hear about that and his very theatrical bar mitzvah, interspersed with a recounting of a modern-day visit to Israel by his mother and daughter, for which he tags along, actually on an errand for the President. At last his father’s father Zaideh, an imposing and scholarly Rabbi, moves in with them, along with his youngest daughter Faiga. She has the idealistic socialist leanings of youth, and causes problems in the family when she encourages the laundry workers to strike. Zaideh helps David study the Talmud for two years at Yeshiva, but David dreams of a regular education at Columbia, and fortunately, they have a Jewish quota, so he’s accepted. It’s at this point in his young life that he begins to chafe at the religious strictures at home that are not recognized by society at large. He meets independent thinkers and begins dating, and his world seems upside-down. After his dream girl throws him over, he and a buddy from the school paper get jobs writing gags for Harry Goldhandler’s radio show, instead of going to law school. They make good money for Depression times and find themselves hob-nobbing with the rich and famous. They move into a swanky apartment together, and he takes up with an intoxicating Irish showgirl named Bobbie Webb. Their relationship has more ups and downs than an elevator, and manages to be both wildly passionate and also madly infuriating, often at the same time. He realizes he can’t live with her or without her, but knowing that marriage would be impossible because of his religion, he finally has to give her up. After years of dithering about writing gags or going to law school, of living a religious or secular life, of giving in to his desires for Bobbie or finding someone more appropriate, finally Harry Goldhandler dies and the young gag-writer has some tough choices to make. He starts law school just as Hitler is rising to power in Germany, and enlists in the Air Force Reserve, although he fails to qualify as a pilot for health reasons. He proposes to Bobbie, but has second thoughts, and his father convinces him that the honorable thing to do is to make a settlement on her, which she accepts and they part ways. (Although nothing is ever completely over with him and Bobbie, it seems.) His father dies suddenly just before Pearl Harbor and he is called up, serving as flight navigator, instructor and various desk jobs. After the war, he met his wife Jan and we come back to where we started, after Israel and America beat back the Arabs and Russians in the Yom Kippur War. I found this book overly long as well as boring and depressing, so much it’s hard to believe it’s fictional. It’s well-written of course, because it would be impossible for him to do otherwise. The characters are so true to life that they seem like people you really know, although you would wish you didn’t. The central relationship is achingly pathetic and doomed, with all the assumed fascination of a train wreck. In fact, it reminds me a lot of Marjorie Morningstar, as told from the male perspective instead. For all of its length and breadth and scope, I found it pitifully small and sad and ultimately too miserable to enjoy. The early part of the book was a bit jauntier, but even that suffered from the weight of gloomy overtones. Like watching someone with a terminal illness, it’s a relief when it’s over.


It’s Always Something
Gilda Radner
Biography
Non-Fiction
Rating 4
Hearst Corporation
1989


Interesting but ultimately depressing book about the author’s career, marriage to Gene Wilder, and battle with cancer. The writing is humorous and sets off sparks, but it cannot shake the undertow of tragedy. It’s lively (in a morbid sort of way) and chock-full of wonderful anecdotes. It would have been an excellent book, with a better ending.


It Was A Dark And Stormy Night
Scott Rice
Humor
Non-Fiction
Rating 5
Penguin Books
1984



Uproarious collection of entries in the Bulwer-Lytton Contest, aiming for the worst opening sentence that could be written for an imaginary novel. The contest is run by the San Jose State University, and attracts thousands of entries from all over the world. Edward Bulwer-Lytton was a prolific novelist in the 1800's, but unfortunately, his over-blown and florid style is considered laughable today. Some entries are so bad they are bad, some are so bad they are funny, and some are just priceless. A thoroughly enjoyable book.


Jo’s Boys (And How They Turned Out)
Louisa May Alcott
Drama
Fiction
Rating 3
Little, Brown
1886



The author of “Little Women” and “Little Men” wrote this follow-up story to show the progress of the next generation as they grew to adulthood, married and settled into careers. A pleasant, unstartling book that trudges along, vignette-style, and then ends rather abruptly.


The Judas Goat
Robert B. Parker
Crime drama
Fiction
Rating 3
Dell Publishing / Bantam Doubleday Dell
1978


Here is another in a series of books by this author featuring Boston Private Investigator Spenser. (A fairly early one, because Susan Silverman is still a student and doesn’t have her own practice.) Hugh Dixon is a business tycoon, whose family was killed and he was paralyzed, in a London bombing by Liberty, some squirrelly terrorist group. He sends Spenser to London to track down the 9 people involved in the bombing. The local Police have no leads, so Spenser places a newspaper ad offering a reward, and receives a message to meet someone at the London Zoo the next day. However, the night before, he surprises two thugs in his hotel room who try to kill him, but he kills them first. The next day, he stakes out the Zoo in a disguise and follows one of them home without her spotting him. When he goes back to his hotel later, he finds two more thugs waiting for him, and he beats them both up, although one escapes. Inspector Downes of the London Police is getting understandably weary of these rogue tactics, especially happening right under his nose, and he warns Spenser about wearing out his welcome. Before things get much worse, Spenser arranges for Hawk to come over and help out. They stake out Kathie (the girl from the Zoo) and then spook her so she flees the country and goes to Copenhagen. They follow her there and Spenser lets her cohorts pick him up so he can scope them out. He meets Paul, the ring-leader, who has a plan to make Africa a continent for white people. Hawk kills two of the group, but Paul escapes with Kathie, and they flee to Amsterdam. They follow them there, but find no sign of them. Later at their hotel room, Paul has left the last two dead Liberty members of the original 9 that Spenser was tracking, plus Kathie bound and gagged. They untie her in their room, which seems extremely ill-advised on the face of it. Although Kathie seems to alternate between being hostile or pathetic, she doesn’t cause any more trouble, and in fact, volunteers the information that Paul is planning an attack at the Summer Olympic Games in Montreal. So they quickly re-locate to Montreal, even though their part of the case is basically over, but they hate to walk away with Paul still at large. On the way, Spenser stops in to update Hugh Dixon, who is very pleased with his work so far. Spenser explains about Paul and asks Dixon to help get him tickets into the Olympic Stadium, so hopefully they can spot Paul before anything happens. Dixon not only gets tickets for them, but insists on under-writing this part of the operation as well, even though it is unrelated to the bombing of his family. Somewhat miraculously, they manage to spot Paul in a stadium of 80,000 spectators, and notice him setting up a shooting alley along one of the ramps. They keep watching the same spot for days, until Paul returns with a high-powered rifle and a mammoth bodyguard named Zachary. (If this is Canada’s idea of tight security for the Olympics – how times have changed!) They jump Paul and spoil his plans, but Zachary gets away and they chase after him for 10 pages, even the two of them together can’t make much headway against this giant. They finally wear him down just as the Police round them all up and take them to the hospital under guard. They also find out that Kathie apparently took advantage of the situation to kill Paul while he was unconscious, which he probably should have done when he dumped her on Spenser in the first place. They explain things satisfactorily to the Police, and then Hugh Dixon shows up to thank them and way over-pays them for a job well done. Here Spenser protects Kathie and tells Dixon and the Police that she wasn’t mixed up with Liberty. The Police let her go, which seems like another really bad idea on the face of it. The book ends with Spenser and Susan vacationing in London and seeing the sights just like any tourist. Well-written as always, and especially entertaining is the banter between Spenser and Hawk, who share more time together than in most of these books. Not a great story, because terrorists are an uncomfortable subject to start with, and Kathie is particularly unappealing in a lot of different ways. Has a couple of dead spots while waiting for the other shoe to drop, but generally lopes right along in a breezy and effortless style. Interesting for being early in the series and entertaining throughout with only a few quibbles about the ending.


Jurassic Park
Michael Crichton
Drama
Fiction
Rating 4
Alfred A. Knopf
1990


A taut, gripping and literate thriller about modern dinosaurs. Eccentric John Hammond hires a team of geneticists, engineers, zoologists and paleontologists, and with the backing of foreign investors, they create a theme park of assorted dinosaurs. (They make dinosaurs by replicating the DNA found in biting insects of that period fossilized in amber.) Of course, things go horribly wrong and in the end, the entire park has to be destroyed. A real page-turner, and more interesting than terrifying. The ending was rather anti-climactic, but as often happens with these types of books, it would have been impossible to maintain that level of excitement to the end.


Kavanagh
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Drama
Fiction
Rating 3
College & University Press
1965 (reprint)



Longfellow is better known for his epic poems such as “Evangeline” and “Hiawatha.” This is identified as a “tale” but it’s really more of a novella. It concerns the residents of a small town in the 1800's and is a charming, whimsical story. Arthur Kavanagh is the new minister who comes to the village after the previous minister resigns. Mostly, the story concerns Mr. Churchill, the schoolmaster, who fancies himself a future great novelist. However, he remains long on dreams and promise, but woefully short on action and accomplishment. The theme of the book is basically that human dramas unfold even in small towns, but no one notices them – only the big dramatic events that happen in faraway places. The story is sentimental in a nice way, and the characters are drawn with warts and all, but with kindness and humor. My favorite part is about the church organist, who feels that any popular music, if it is played slow enough, becomes sacred music that is appropriate to insert into the service!


Kiss and Make Up
Gene Simmons
Biography
Non-Fiction
Rating 2
Crown Publishers / Random House
2001



The author is famous as the fire-breathing, blood-spewing demonic bass player for the rock group KISS, which they say here is second only to the Beatles in gold albums for bands. Founded in 1972, the band quickly became a world-wide phenomenon of music, theatrics and marketing. This book begins way before that in 1949, when Chaim Witz is born in Haifa in the brand new State of Israel, to Hungarian Jewish parents who re-located there. Feri Witz was a talented man, but not a practical businessman, so the family was very poor. When Chaim was only 5, his parents separated, and he and his mother moved to another small village in Israel. By the time he was 8, his mother decided to join her brothers in Queens, so they fly to America. She works in a sweatshop sewing on buttons, and he goes to Yeshiva nearby. Obviously he’s overwhelmed at the vastness and abundance of America, after the poverty and privation in Israel, although he and his mother are still pretty poor. Once in America, he begins using the name Gene instead of Chaim, and Klein, his mother’s maiden name. As far as American culture, making a big impression of him are TV, movies and comic books. When he sees the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, he realizes that being in a band would be a good way to meet girls. He begins going to public school and starts a band with some friends, where they play at dances, and do in fact meet girls. He has always been industrious and saved money from his after-school jobs. When he decides to make music his career, his mother insists that he get a college degree to fall back on if necessary. In 1970, he and his friend Steve Coronel start a band called Wicked Lester that includes someone Steve knows called Stanley Eisen, later to become Paul Stanley. Even though Wicked Lester is offered a record contract by Epic, Gene and Paul realize that it doesn’t represent the type of band that they want to be in. As they begin to develop a vision for the band, they need to round it out with musicians who can share their goals. Next we hear the stories about auditioning Peter Criss and “Ace” Frehley, which have been told before, but no less entertaining for that. One of their early performances draws the attention of Bill Aucoin, who persuades Neil Bogart to sign them to his new record company, and along with Sean Delaney, try to get the fledgling outfit off the ground. This works better than expected, and by 1975, they are headlining and playing arenas. You would think four young men with all the fame, booze, drugs and sex they could want would be happy as clams, and it’s demoralizing to hear how they could not get along, even in the very beginning. We get sketches from making the early albums, plus the tours, and even “KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park.” Next, Cher enters the picture, and for someone who seems so introspective, this relationship turns his whole life upside down. Meanwhile, continuing problems in the band lead to the idea of solo albums, and give everyone a bit of a breather from each other for a time. This works up to a point, but eventually things have to be resolved, and Peter is removed from the band. They replace him with Eric Carr, who Gene likes a lot, which is a nice change of pace. At this time, he was seeing Cher’s friend Diana Ross, which effectively ended that friendship – plus everyone in the band was mad about him “going Hollywood.” Suddenly, a lot of things happen at once: Eric Carr dies unexpectedly, Ace leaves the band, Paul gets married, and Gene meets Shannon Tweed who knocks him off his feet, and before you know it, he’s the proud father of Nicholas and Sophie. For a while, the band runs through a bunch of guitarists before settling on Bruce Kulick, and Eric Singer is brought in as the new drummer. Around 1995, a series of KISS conventions begins the germ of an idea for a reunion. First, the 1995 KISS performs on MTV Unplugged, then Peter and Ace sit in and do a few old songs, then it wraps up with everybody all together. Later Eric and Bruce are accommodating enough to step aside as the “classic” KISS reunion tour takes the world by storm for 2 years. They continue to have problems with Ace and Peter, but manage to limp along, wrapping up with a world-wide farewell tour that finishes in 2000. (Interestingly, Eric Singer sat in for Peter – cat makeup and all – for the Pacific leg of the tour when they could not agree to terms.) This is where the book ends, and I must say it’s very disappointing. It’s no doubt an unintended consequence of writing the book, that someone who seems so charismatic and larger than life, should instead come off as a complete jerk, and with almost no redeeming qualities. It’s one thing to be self-centered and feeling so superior that you think you’re infallible – but after 30 years of almost unparalleled success and literally billions of dollars, you might expect someone to mellow out, bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones. Instead, the book is basically nothing but a poison pen letter, ripping Ace and Peter unmercifully, and practically skipping right over Paul altogether (which is probably a good thing the way he blasts everybody else) and manages to be so completely uninteresting that even a die-hard fan like me couldn’t wait to put it down. The writing style is somewhat inconsistent, but not bad, and it’s full of interesting pictures. But this is so far from being a fan’s book, where a little humor and diplomacy, not to mention perspective, would have gone a long way. After all, who wants to read the KISS version of “Mommie Dearest” with all the dirty laundry and bad blood – not me. Hopefully, Paul will write a book for the rest of us.